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NEVER MEET YOUR HEROES

How an anatomically correct Spider-Man can be so wrong.

- - - This is a comic strip - - - Peter Parker, dressed as Spider-Man, is on a date with Mary Jane in a lunch room. Peter: ARE YOU READY TO ORDER, MARY JANE? MARY JANE: SURE. Peter: LET ME GET THE WAITRESS. Peter pulls down his pants (yes, his suit has pants.) and we get a disgusting close-up of his near anatomically correct spinnerets on his ass. Peter dabs his bare spinnerets on the floor, wall, ceiling, etc. and builds a huge web. Peter sits back down and holds a few signal threads of the web with his hands and looks at Mary Jane. Peter: NOW WE WAIT. SHE’LL WALK BY ANY MINUTE NOW. Meanwhile, Mary Jane is sitting across the table with a rolled up menu clenched in her shaking fist and she looks shocked. Peter: HEY, WHAT’S WITH THE ROLLED UP MENU?

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