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NOTHING BUTT ALIENS

Aliens? My ass!

A man is jogging in a quiet area of a park at night. An alien spacecraft appears and hovers above him The spacecraft pulls him up into the ship with some sort of tractor beam. The man is now standing opposite a humanoid alien entity. The alien raises its hand in a kind of symbolic way. The man also raises his hand, thinking it is a form of greeting. The alien raises both its arms high above its head. The man copies. The alien turns its back towards him. Arms still raised. The man copies. The alien bends over and spreads its butt cheeks. The man hesitates.
The alien seems disappointed and points in the direction of the man’s butt hole. The man starts to lower his pants and bends over. We see the alien has a metal device in its hands. The man does not. The alien violently shoves an anal probe up the man’s ass. [PLORT] The man grimaces in pain. Alien: HAHAAA! ANAL PROBE! YOU IDIOTS NEVER LEARN! The alien casually wipes his hands on a towel. Alien: ANYWAY, YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO POOP UNTIL THE PROBE DISLODGES IN FIVE OF YOUR EARTH DAYS. Man: YOU GUYS SUCK, YOU KNOW THAT?!? The alien kicks out the man from the ship. The man falls onto some bushes.
The alien looks through the hatch and gives some additional instructions. Alien: SHUT UP! IT’S FOR SCIENCE! NOW, TRY NOT TO EAT TOO MUCH. The spacecraft disappears into the distance. The man grabs his mobile phone and starts typing. The spacecraft quickly reappears from the distance and the alien sticks its head out of the hatch once more. Alien: OH, AND DON't DO PODCASTS! STAY AWAY FROM JOE ROGAN! Man: GAAAH! YOU GUYS REALLY REALLY REALLY SUCK!!!!

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