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SMALL TALK

Another misadventure of Joseph Erkhoff, the “forever alone” guy

- - - This is a comic strip - - - Joseph Erkhoff and his friend and roommate, Rudy, are at a bar. Joseph has spotted a nice girl, sitting alone at the bar, and has worked up the courage to go talk to her. Joseph: OH WOW. I THINK I’M GONNA TALK TO THAT NICE GIRL OVER THERE. Rudy: GO FOR IT, MY DUDE. Joseph gets up and starts walking towards the girl at the bar. Joseph: YEAH, I’M GONNA ASK IF SHE WANTS A DRINK, WANTS TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND, GET MARRIED IN LAS VEGAS. Joseph is already holding a small box with an engagement ring. Rudy grabs Joseph by his shirt. Rudy: STOP STOP STOP STOP! Rudy: DUDE, YOU ALWAYS DO THAT. Joseph: DO WHAT? Rudy: GO TOO FAST. APPEAR TOO EAGER. Joseph: I AM EAGER! Annoyed, Rudy pushes Joseph towards the bar. Rudy: JUST START WITH SMALL TALK FOR ONCE. Joseph: SMALL TALK? LIKE, THE WEATHER? Rudy: SURE. Joseph is getting nervous. Joseph starts talking to the girl. Joseph: HEY HI HELLO UHM… SO LIKE… WHAT ABOUT THIS WEATHER, HUH? Girl: WHAT ABOUT IT? Rudy observes Joseph’s foolery from a distance and feels like he has to intervene. Rudy: OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE, JOSEPH. Rudy approaches angrily, as Joseph is giving the girl a detailed weather report, gesturing over a big weather chart. Joseph: SO THIS HIGH PRESSURE FRONT IS PUSHING ALL THIS PRECIPITATION EASTWARDS OVER THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS… Rudy pulls him away. Rudy: YOU’LL HAVE TO EXCUSE MY LITTLE FRIEND. HE GOT KICKED IN THE HEAD BY A DONKEY AS A KID, SO… Joseph: BUT I WAS DOING GREAT! Rudy: NO, YOU WEREN’T. SHUT UP. The girl is alone again and looks a little bedazzled. GIRL: WEIRD. I’M EXPERIENCING HIGH HUMIDITY IN THE SOUTHERN REGION.

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